C.S. Lewis

"God whispers to us in our pleasures, speaks to us in our conscience, but shouts in our pains: It is His megaphone to rouse a deaf world."

Sunday, January 31, 2010

why me?

im so upset. i hope no one reads this. i hate how i always get my heart broken. i wear my heart on my sleeve&i dont mean to it just happens. i dont know how to change it. i want to leave boys alone but im just in love with love. i talked to a friend and he(dont think i like him cuz i dont) helped me realize that i have a lot of hormones&i like to snuggle and things along those lines. which isnt the right kind of affections. im not sure how to fix it cuz this is the only love i've ever experienced with the opposite sex. i know of only one boy that i love and i dont feel attracted to.. he isn't ugly, i just dont feel an attraction to him. i wish i was married so that i didnt have to deal with this anymore. i hate how my love for people is immature. i get caught up in thier looks and its not right. i dont know how to change. i would like it to just happen naturally. its too hard on my own. i need help to get out of my misery and only God can help me. its hard to believe in him with relationships cuz i like to control them&i know thats completely wrong. i ruined everything. ughhhh.

1 comment:

  1. im afraid i may disappoint you because i read it.... we live in a wierd world and as Christians we gotta live the complete opposite. i mean we practically grew up hearing that but living like that is a whole other story. well when we hang out with boys, think about boys, try and be "best friends" with guys, watch chick flicks, read romance novels. well we are only human..so when we do all that-- its only natural to be flirty, and go through that emotional stuff. try fasting from all that for a week. and dont tell yourself that you cant because thats a total lie! you can. when your "feeding the flame" of course it wont go away. you can do it ellory :-) Ask God to help you, and if you let Him, He will!!!!!!!!!!

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